I've blown a few things in my day
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
