batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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