I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
