think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
