In the future we'll all be gay
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
