Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
