Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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