I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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