DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
