Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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