I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
