You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
