Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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