took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
