Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
