When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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