sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
