wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He felt like a one man threesome
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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