I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
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