is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
