If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
