TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize