is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
