That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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