Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize