he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
