A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Blood and glitter go together right?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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