Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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