You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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