Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
