dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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