She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
two words...techno handjob
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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