it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize