is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
