Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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