a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
