So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
