I think i peed on brittanys purse
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
