youre lurking in front of me
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
