found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
