1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm gonna have a badass scar
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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