She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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