i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
