One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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