what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
