She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
