What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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