Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
