that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize