JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
