Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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