hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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