I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
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