i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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