Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
