Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize