I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
