I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
