Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
