i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
you never un-have a 4some
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
