Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
