It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
