Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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