The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
